Comic Book Sex Hall of Fame: Catwoman #1 (Nov 2011)

For a long time, comic books were considered kids’ stuff. The very term “comic book” was coined because they used to be collections of funny children’s newspaper strips. But things have certainly changed in the past 80 years. For example, in 2011, DC Comics hard rebooted their entire universe, and the first issue of Catwoman ended with a four-page scene of her and Batman fucking.

The issue, by Judd Winick and Guillem March, starts with Catwoman making a hasty getaway as thugs blow up her apartment. She then goes undercover to a Russian mob party, where she seduces and attacks a vicious murderer. Later, she retires to her penthouse suite at the Gotham Hotel Belle Monico, where Batman is waiting for her.

He’s there to check on her after hearing about her apartment, but before he can, she jumps his bones.  He tries to resist, but she forces him into submission (not that he needed much forcing). What follows is a steamy quickie that really embraces the joy of superhero sex. The costumes stay on. Catwoman doesn’t know who Batman is, and she doesn’t want to know, because she doesn’t want to fuck whoever he is under the cowl– she wants to fuck Batman.

Sex in superhero costumes is a pleasure rarely afforded to mortal men and women. I presume it’s prevalent among cosplayers. San Diego in particular must break the world record for most simultaneous costumed orgasms every July.

But the issue caused backlash. A number of readers saw this portrayal of Catwoman as creepily objectified and gratuitously hypersexualized for the pure masturbatory pleasure of its readers. Writer Judd Winick even had to weigh in:

This is a Catwoman for 2011, and my approach to her character and actions reflect someone who lives in our times. And wears a cat suit. And steals. It’s a tale that is part crime story, part mystery and part romance. In that, you will find action, suspense and passion. Each of those qualities, at times, play to their extremes. Catwoman is a character with a rich comic book history, and my hope is that readers will continue to join us as the adventure continues.

If you ask me, it’s all in good fun. Comic books are a fantasy. They let us have vicarious adventures, sometimes sexual in nature. And these characters, even the legendary Batman himself, are all flawed adults, and they may have pointless, exploitative, indulgent sex every once in a while. It’s not the best example to set for kids, but as we’ve already established, comic books aren’t just for kids anymore.

Oh, and we also get a little more action at the top of the following issue, Catwoman #2, where we see the beautiful contrast of rough, spontaneous violence and tender romance that comes with superhero sex:

Page 1, panel 4 describes the “filthy language” exchanged between Batman and Catwoman. God I want to hear it. I wonder how many more years before that happens.

Jupiter’s Circle Issue 1 Free Download

So if you don’t know, comic book writer Mark Millar started a series in 2013 called Jupiter’s Legacy, about the generational conflict between a group of aging superheroes and their offspring, and how it reflects the realities of the American dream over the many decades.

The limited series is still ongoing, but after five issues, Millar started a spinoff prequel called Jupiter’s Circle, which flashes back to the 50s and 60s to show the original six heroes during their heyday.

Issue 1 focuses on one hero in the group who feels compelled to hide his true sexuality from the rest of the world for fear of persecution. As both a superhero and a homosexual, he is basically forced to assume the difficulties of a triple life, as opposed to your regular old double life.

A couple weeks ago, following the Supreme Court ruling of same-sex marriage as fully legal in the United States, Mark Millar posted the following on his Millarworld website:

To celebrate today’s Supreme Court decision, Millarworld and Image Comics are releasing the first story in the Jupiter’s Circle series completely free as a digital download.

Jupiter’s Circle is about a gay superhero in 1959, keeping his sexuality as secret as his alter-ego in an era where being a gay man would mean being ruined and expulsion from his very conservative super-team. It’s rated Teen-Plus and this issue comes with a special rainbow cover to commemorate the day gay Americans got the same rights as everyone else. We hope you enjoy it. Very best wishes from all your friends at Millarworld and Image Comics #lovewins

Check out that link for the free download.  It’s a great issue, but be ready to spend some extra bucks because it will make you want to read all the other issues.  It even has Katharine Hepburn:

Superhero Moms and Dads Are Getting Sexier

This is my first post on this blog, so I’m gonna say hi real quick.  Hi.  Okay, enough chit chat.

The latest Hollywood trend is to take superheroes’ traditionally wholesome parental units and give them the thing we never think about our parents having– sex appeal.

This whole sexy parent trend started with Superman’s adoptive parents, the Kents. In movies and TV shows, they were always cast as lovable old folks in their late 50s/early 60s. But when it came time to cast the Superman prequel teen drama Smallville (2001), it must have occurred to producers that they could go younger with Jonathan and Martha. And not just younger– sexier. So they cast 41-year-old TV hunk John Schneider and 49-year-old Annette O’Toole (who had previously steamed up the cornfields of Smallville as Lana Lang in 1983’s Superman III). Watching the show, you kinda rooted for Clark in his romantic endeavors and kinda hoped he might get the girl eventually– but in the meantime, you were just drooling over his parents.

The tradition lives on even today in Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel (2013), with Kevin Costner and Diane Lane, the two of them as eyeball-meltingly enthralling as ever at 58 and 48, respectively. But the trend has not stopped at the Kents. Birds of Prey (2002) gave us 38-year-old Lori Loughlin as Dinah Lance’s mom, original Black Canary. And Gotham (2014) has bestowed on us the gift of 50-year-old Sean Pertwee as the gravel-voiced much manly Alfred Pennyworth. And let me say a few words about Spider-Man’s dear Aunt May.

Since her creation by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko in 1962, May Parker has always been portrayed as a sweet old lady. And indeed, the first silver screen Aunt May, in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man (2002), was the silver-haired 74-year-old Rosemary Harris. She was downright grandmotherly.

Ten years passed before our first big screen Spidey reboot, with Marc Webb’s The Amazing Spider-Man (2012), and this time they went with 65-year-old Sally Field. So now Aunt May is still in her twilight, but we are reminded that she is a woman. It’s almost like Aunt May got a year younger for every year that passed between origin movies. And if you think dropping ten in ten is something, how about fifteen in five? Because the latest word is that the role of Aunt May in Jon Watts’s upcoming 2017 Spider-Man reboot has been offered to the eternally alluring Marisa Tomei, who is clocking in at a nubile 50.

If casting Sally Field showed us that Aunt May was a looker in her day, casting Marisa Tomei unquestionably makes today Aunt May’s day. And the forecast for the day is hot.

And that’s okay. Because there’s no rule that says we can only appreciate the youthful beauty of a Black Widow, or just admire the supple bulge of a Batman’s codpiece. Maybe we want to think about what the guardians of our guardians are getting up to at night. Maybe we want to get a little peek under Alfred’s cummerbund. Or maybe we want to stop by Aunt May’s and see what tantalizing treats she has cooling by the window. Maybe it’s time we embrace the fact that Ma and Pa Kent are living, breathing, sexual beings– and we want to fuck them.